Table setter

The cook who came to work toasted has been flirting with female staff and botching orders for the past hour.  Your best friend called in sick, leaving you to cover two shifts.

Table six just spilled a pitcher of margaritas. The kitchen’s out of potatoes. You’re out of patience.

God bless food servers.

Many give maximum effort for minimum wage. But that doesn’t mean everyone’s ready for Tavern on the Green.

Nothing bogs down a meal like poor service. Here are a few ways to win the hearts of customers and earn a tidy tip in the process.

Acknowledge. Account for me after I’ve been seated. Anything will work — a nod, a smile, a  “back in a sec.” Just don’t leave me hanging without so much as a menu for 20 minutes.

Water. It’s free. It has zero calories and we need it to survive. So why is so damn hard to get a glass with every meal? Water should never be something you have to ask for.

Wipe the table. Let’s start with a clean slate, shall we. Remove all crouton crumbs, carrot shavings and spat-out steak from sight. Simple in theory, harder in practice.
Repeat after me. You’ve taken all four orders without writing them down. Congratulations. But it won’t mean a thing if you screw up. Err on the side of caution. Toting a notepad doesn’t make me think less of you or the restaurant.
Chatty-Kathy. You look and seem like a nice person. Be keep the small talk to a minimum. I’m interested in getting fed, not your Cancun vacation.
Pay attention: Don’t bring me a Coke refill when I’m reaching for my coat. Monitor drink levels and refresh accordingly.
Oops. The filet was well done instead of medium rare. You forgot the appetizer. The lasagna was cold. Adjust the bill or offer a gift card.
Check, please.  I have a game to watch, movie to see or party to go to.  Don’t waste my time.  An early check never offends me.
I’m hungry. Let’s eat.

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