Not So Fast

When the clouds blacken and tornado warnings start cropping up, Oklahomans like to hop into their reinforced steel safe rooms.

I need a safe room for watching sports.

I want a place with a sofa, wide-screen television and double-door fridge, a venue impenetrable by land lines, cell phones and the World Wide Web.

Today’s technology is outstanding at speeding things up, not as good at slowing things down.

It’s reached a point where I’m terrified to pause a game, let alone record it. As soon as I get up to grab a cookie or use the restroom, I’ve missed two texts on how embarrassing the officiating is.

A co-worker of mine likes to call me when my teams are sucking air. So when the phone rings and I’m behind on the DVR, I refuse to answer.

I don’t mind bad news. I just like getting it on my own terms.

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