Breath held and tongs in hand, I today picked up from outside the litter box my 1,998th, 1,999th and 2,000th cat turds.
No band played. No confetti dropped.
The milestone was accompanied only by the stench of disappointment.
I thought I had put this nightmare behind me.
Ingeniously, I had purchased a strip of linoleum from the Home Depot and placed it over the area of carpet where kitty had previously gone. And what do you know?
I told friends the great news. My blood pressure improved. I came home every day smiling with the satisfaction that I wouldn’t hear these words: “Dad, Misty left a present for you.”
But that was months ago.
Now, the situation is worse because the pollution has spread.
My buddies have been eager to help my plight. And I’m sure they will be this time. They think they have all the answers. But they know not what I know.
And that is that I’ve tried everything.
You win, Misty.